The Serengeti is home to many members of the food chain: zebras, leopards, elephants, wildebeest, lions, and for two nights – me.

Yes for two horrifying nights of my life I was sleeping with the lions. With nothing between them and some fresh Australian meat but a thin tent.

When I had planned my Serengeti to safari I hadn’t thought too much about the whole ‘bush camping’ thing. I guess I may have pictured a small fence to at least attempt to deter the wildlife. But I had to man up and accept that I was sleeping with the lions. I just hoped that they did not have an exotic taste in meats.

As we drove into the campsite we were greeted by the locals. The locals being zebras, wildebeest and giraffes. I sure wasn’t the first one to dare visiting the toilet cubical…

They slowly dispersed and we pitched our tents. But the Serengeti locals aren’t too concerned by tourists and would frequently come to visit us during our time in their area.

The first night was tense. Everyone was nervous and no one wanted to wee alone. We escorted each other to the toilets and played the ‘what animal makes that noise’ game over dinner. You would be surprised. When you are camping in the Serengeti even a baboon sounds like a lion roar.

But night one went smoothly. A few of us were up early for a balloon safari and were greeted by a member of a big five…

Elephants are pretty magnificent from the safety of a jeep in broad daylight… Not so much when you are standing 10m away before sunrise…

We managed to sneak away but heard that our big friend had stuck around for breakfast with the rest of the group. He seemed to be a very social guy.

By night two I think our new friend may have misunderstood the boundaries of our friendship.

He ate our breakfast.

We woke up around 5:00am to kitchen noises. Not your typical ‘Good Morning honey I am just frying up some eggs” noises, more like “I CAN’T FIND THE PEANUT BUTTER, WHERE DID YOU PUT IT?” noises. Yep, our friend was acting like a bitter wife in a 30-year marriage.

He had somehow broken most of the bars over the windows and had made his way through beer bottles, dinner leftovers and breakfast. Apparently elephants really like bananas. Because he ate them all. Although he did peel them first which definitely deserves a certain amount of respect…

Watching an elephant eat my breakfast was not on my Africa bucket list but you should probably add it to yours…

We finally managed to scare our friend away with loud truck noises and blasting R&B but he didn’t go too far. Watching an elephant eat your breakfast is hilarious but watching an elephant attempt to hide behind a tree that is one tenth of its size is nothing short of hysterical…