After arriving from London and having a night to charge up for the following day, we were ready to ‘do’ Paris. One of the benefits of spending the day with other motivated travellers is that your ambitious plans to see the Mona Lisa, Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe as well as relaxing on a river cruise down the Seine and enjoying a cabaret show all in the one day don’t seem so ridiculous. (Until you are a month into your trip and realise you used to be a super-tourist).

We were travelling on a tour and as soon as we were driven to the middle of Paris and dumped in front of the Louvre there was travel-group chaos. The pack was torn between those wanting to race to the Eiffel Tower, those who already were wifi-deprived and needed to find a cafe ASAP and those of us willing to fight the crowds and withstand the lines that would get us to see the painting of all paintings (alongside countless other amazing works of art). We were told that to admire every piece of art in the Louvre (for a 30 seconds each) would take a mere 100 days  and as much as I wanted to see EVERYTHING I knew that I had to be realistic. I had at least 3 other landmarks to cross of after the Louvre in the day after all.

It was overwhelming. I had been to Paris before and new that in entering this gallery you were entering into a hub of the greatest pieces of art of all time, but nothing could prepare me for it. How could you possibly seek out one painting when you wanted to spend hours examining the first two you’ve seen in the entrance hall!? But after finding myself in a room which features Veronese’s magnificently grand ‘The Wedding at Carna’ I turned around to find myself in what I thought must have been a mosh pit. A mosh pit of Art Appreciators? Nope. A mosh pit of tourists.

The Mona Lisa is famous for those eyes that follow you where ever you look, for the smile that teases you with the mystery but no one warns you that she must be the most under-appreciated piece of art in the world. No one is admiring her in that room, between rows of tourists each trying to fight their way through you must push your way to get anywhere near her. Friends are lost in the crowds, loved ones left behind, small children forgotten… but it’s all worth it. What a perfect instagram post that would be right!? A close up of the painting you HAVE to see.

I am ashamed to admit that in the haze of fresh traveller motivation I was caught up in the infectious MUST TAKE PHOTO vibe. I tried to make my way through the crowds, I really did. I tried to put my camera as high as I could to get the best photo, but my common sense kicked in. “Who am I? Why am I doing this? This isn’t you….”, the little voice in my head screamed as I realised I actually like this piece of art, in face I have a copy hanging in my room from my first visit to Paris! So I stopped. I let the tourists elbow me out of the way, I allowed myself to drift back to the back of the crowd, rejoin humanity.

But I must admit, the best photos aren’t always taken from the front of violent tourist crowds, in fact sometimes it’s best to rely on the kindness of a strong-shouldered friend and stick with a super-lame but at the same time super-successful selfie. So here we are ladies and gentlemen, Myself and Mona. No violent crowd-fighting needed. (Thank you James)

Next Stop: Notre Dame

This is the fun part, where you have to decide who’s sense of direction is the most reliable out of a group of people you met the day before. With group contributions and decisions I think we did pretty well. Plus in a city like Paris, every time you make a wrong turn you find something amazingly gorgeous or interesting to admire anyway so it doesn’t really matter too much.

We found the Notre Dame, another place I had missed in my past time in Paris. It really is an amazing piece of architecture and even though the lines were far too long to justify waiting in on that toasty 38 degree day I swore that I would re-visit off season one day to ensure a chance to experience the place inside the great hall (just like Quasimodo).

Then we got lost. This is when I discovered that much like every other metro in Europe, underground trains are brilliantly effective.

We ate lunch by the Eiffel Tower and then relaxed on a boat as we cruised down the Seine, wishing we could understand the commentary which seemed to be in every language except English… A Parisian joke to try and piss of English-speaking tourists? I wouldn’t doubt it… So instead of learning about the history of the amazing buildings along the great river I learnt that it is possible for a tourist, from the continent of those that like to take many, many photos, can take selfies for the entire duration of a 2 hour river cruise. That in itself was almost as impressive as Parisian Architecture… (almost).

The rest of the day was much more laid back and after finding our way to the Arc de Triomphe and walking down the Champs-Elysees looking at nice things we couldn’t afford and admiring the electronic McDonalds ordering machines we heading back to the tower of all towers for the anticipated picnic in from of Le Tour Eiffel.

It did not disappoint, it turns out our on-road-chef Kat (the name of all the greats), can prepare a feast. With a view of one of the most renowned pieces of architecture in the world we felt like French Royalty (well how French Royalty felt before being decapitated). Our spread featured everything from fine salads, fresh fruit and of course escargot… Thank god for the vegan excuse getting me out of that ‘must-try’ experience…

Finishing the night of with a Cabaret where we saw beautiful woman, boobs and beautiful womans’ boobs as we drank wine we headed home (home being the campsite just out of the city…who would have thought?). In summary yes, it is possible to see the Mona Lisa, Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, cruise down the Seine and see a Cabaret all in one day. You should try it sometime!

• Arc de Triomphe
• Eiffel Tower
• Europe
• France
• Mona Lisa
• Musée du Louvre
• Notre Dame
• Seine